You know, I have this nasty habit of looking for something that’s not there. I think it all started my freshman year when I went out with Justin.

I used to come early to school—earlier than he. I always used to look for him—used to turn my head left and right to look down the halls hoping he’d be there. He would come. He’d come as soon as he got off the bus. Soon he’d come a little later… and a little later. But, still, I’d turn my head looking for him. And then he wasn’t there at all. He’d stop coming, and I’d still look down the halls.

To this day, I’ve noticed, I still do that. I still turn my head, expecting something. I don’t know. I don’t look for Justin anymore, for that’s long over, but it’s like… I’m looking for something or someone who’ll never be there or doesn’t exist.

How sad.